Its Been Awhile

It's been awhile since I last posted my blog. Life has been a roller-coaster ride for me for the past few weeks - - there were times that I was feeling as if I were on top of Mt. Everest but there were days that I felt as little as a mustard seed. Well, I never really expect that life will always be okay, I mean, perfectly okay... God never promised such a thing...But I guess it's just a matter of attitude... The attitude on how you perceive your own life...

And just what I always tell my 11- month old God-son Miguel (the beloved son of my best friend Laya), " Ninang is the only one perfect in this world! My ninang is perfect!" Yes, I want to believe that my life is perfect!!! That's how I look at the complete picture of my life - - PERFECT!!!

Well, I strongly believe that how you live your life is just a matter of choice - - and my choice is to live a perfect life!

I am blessed - - very blessed! I have a very loving ang supportive family. I have few friends but I don't mind because it's truly a quality kind of friendship. I can buy anything I wish (thanks to m parents!) I have Multiple Sclerosis but its presence in my life gave me the chance to meet excelent doctors who have become close family friends... So, what else can I ask for?!!!

Oh yah, a love life?! Sometimes I miss having "someone" in my life but it doesn't mean that without "him" makes my life less than perfect - - never! I know that having someone special (yes, a papa!) will never ever complete the missing piece as you live your life's puzzle - - it will never be the answer.

It's been almost 2 years since Roy and I broke-up - - and until this very day, he's still the one who occupies my entire heart. I don't think I am ready to commit again because I will just be unfair - - not only to the person "I thought I love but to myself as well... Indeed, your heart can't lie!

I know that there is no assurance that Roy feels the same way - - it is so scary to think that he can't reciprocate my love for him, but I guess this is what Love is all about - - taking the risk of loving someone even though you know that there is a BIG chance that he doesn't love you - and he will never be able to give you the romantic kind of love that you've been longing for...

Just as always, I have offered everything to Him... He knows every detail of my heart's longing - - He has the answer to every query I have. Knowing that God is in-control of everything makes me smile because I know that my hearts wishes and desires are in good hands. I know that God will grant my heart's longing if He thinks it will make my life PERFECT!!!

At the end of the day - - It's still God's call! We just have to believe that He will give us the Best!!!