I shouldn't...

I am a hopeless romantic person. I love to be in-love. I guess if there is one thing that I’ve been dreaming of, it is to be a bride. Well, who wouldn’t? I like the feeling of being a princess - - walking in a white-long gown with little pastel flowers embedded on it as my prince awaits for me down the aisle.

I must admit though that I never thought of the life after the wedding day or the real meaning of the sacrament of marriage (whewwww, it’s FOREVER!)

After a relationship that lasted for 5 ½ years ended, I asked myself, “am I really ready to be a wife? Am I really ready to talk about forever?!” Gosh, as I was trying to contemplate, goose-bumps started to occupy my entire body - - I started to feel scared. Many “what-ifs” started to run through my mind and I told myself “thank God, I’m not!”

Yes, I’ve been hurt. It took me so long before I was able to recover from the pain that was brought by a failed relationship. But I have not become a man-hater, why would I? But as I look back, I realized that I am not ready yet to enter a commitment that talks of FOREVER!!!!

No REGRETS about the past relationship that failed. I had a wonderful relationship with my “former,” but I guess there was an ingredient missing in our relationship - - friendship!

We weren’t friends before we met. We fall in-love on the first day. We became so preoccupied thinking of how to make our relationship work and at the same time, knowing each other as friends.

It was tough. I realized it is not easy to be lovers THEN friends. There I realized it is a lot better to be friends first and just allow fate to take its course.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangled intimacy of their sexuality.

As friends, you can laugh together. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

I’ve realized that I need a partner with whom I can grow. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate but also become one.

Now I realized that I should NOT fear marriage, just as I should NOT rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

So, if someone believes in his/her heart that s/he has found someone with whom s/he is able to grow, if s/he has sufficient faith that can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if s/he has the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom - - easily!