What's Worth Getting is Worth Waiting For ...

Believe me, Its Worth the Wait!
(Indeed, Patience is a Virtue!)


It’s been awhile since I last posted a blog. Well, may be it’s because I wasn’t in the mood to compose blogs for the past few months. Blogging or composing my thoughts are things that I do when I am in the mood to release the extreme emotions that I have - - either when I feel like hell is just a step away from where I am standing or when it seems that the angels are singing for me out of glee…

My life has always been an open book. I know I am blessed but it doesn’t mean that I am spared from the trials and challenges of life. Well, I can say that the not so good things that happened in the past can also be considered as forms of blessings because it helped me become a better and stronger person. Also, the not so good events that I experienced in my life allowed wonderful blessings to enter my life that paved the way for me to make a difference in the lives of others.

Anyway, matters of the heart can make or break a person. In most cases, being broken hearted due to a failed relationship is usually the last straw that breaks a camel’s back. Some people are lucky enough to bounce back after being heartbroken and they turn out to be better and stronger people - - just like me!

When my X (who is happily married now) and I parted ways several years ago, I thought it was already end of the world. Literally, I grieved. I cried not just buckets of tears but drums of it. I never thought that the day would ever come that I will just laugh about it - - fortunately, the day came. It was a long process though - - 4 ½ years of grieving, imagine?! Yup, I tried to date eligible men along the way but it was always a failure. It already came to a point that finding somebody was next to miracle. But, I never stopped praying for the right man to come. I requested God to give me somebody who will fit on the checklist that I made. Well, after being heartbroken for a long period of time, I became more careful or should I say more Idealistic?

It came to a point that I already became impatient that the best man for me would still come. I have psyched-up myself that it’s better for me to be just a groovy old maid for life than giving myself a reason to be frustrated by waiting and waiting for nobody.

Truly, mysterious are the ways of the heart but stranger are the ways of God… During the time that I wasn’t expecting anymore, NEIL came unexpectedly. It was on the fateful day of July 09, 2008, Wednesday when a mutual friend of ours informed me that he would introduce me to his co-faculty. Of course, I was hesitant at first but I eventually gave in after praying for it. To make the long story short, NEIL and I clicked. For me, there was MAGIC since the first day we communicated (take note: usap palang huh, hindi pa kami nagkikita sa lagay na yan!) and for him, there was an instant CHEMISTRY that made both of us conclude that we are indeed soul mates. Now, the rest is history. We’ve been each other’s partners for 3 months only but it seems that we’ve known each other for such a long time already, isn’t it strange?

Whewwww, after 41/2 years of waiting, truly, an unanswered prayer! God is truly so strange. There are so many things in life that no matter how our hearts desire it but if it’s not according to God’s will, it will never happen. And there are so many things that we don’t really want to happen but if it’s according to God’s plan for our lives, it will still happen no matter how we stop it from happening - - what a strange and ironing life isn’t it?

It is so true that when God closes a window, He opens a door so that many more blessings can come in. Neil is one BIG blessing in my life. He has given me a new perspective about life. He has helped me to laugh when it was so hard for me to even just smile. His patience and generosity (not just materially) gives me no reason to feel insecure about myself, in fact, he has taught me to enjoy and love myself all the more.

Nobody knows what the future holds for us. But knowing that I prayed for this gives me so much peace that everything is in the hands of God and He is the one in full control of the situation.

Of course, I am looking forward to the day that I can tell the entire world that it feels so good to be your man’s ONLY love and he is my GREATEST love - - God-willing, may that man be NEIL already.

Now, I can say that everything that I’ve been through is all worth it. It may be a long journey but the trip is worth it. If I were to live my live all over again, I will still take the same route because it is where I met my GREATEST LOVE.

To NEIL, thank you so much. Life has been more exciting and beautiful because I am sharing it with you. I love you my Sweetie!

/~BIGs~\

Where The Girls Are?!

I belong to an all-girls group (barkada) of 8 - - Katherine Marie, Ma. Natalie, Carla Joy, Joanndee, Meredith Lee, Laya Maria Isabela and Me (Maria Kristina), wait, there’s one missing in the list - - shocks, I forgot her name….. My short-term memory loss is attacking again. Shoot!

Hahaha, high school has always been my favorite stage in my life because of so many reasons and most of them are “baduys” - - hahaha…. And I guess, one kabaduyan of high school is giving our group a name (ako ang nagbinyag) - - Avziganz! Hahaha, I forgot where I got that name… Before, it sounded cute, but almost 15 years after high school graduation, we always end up laughing our hearts out every time we remember those days, hahaha….. funny!

Anyway, my friends and I are all grown-ups already (dapat lang naman noh! ) We are no longer the fickle-minded, sensitive young ladies we used to be - most of the time!!!

We have learned to respect each other’s individuality, knowing that no matter how long we don’t see each other nor talk to each other, because we have our own lives to attend to, we are still very good friends and can rely on each other in times of need…

What I like about my friends, every time we are all together, is that it seems we are the only PERFECT people in this world - - hahaha!!!! Pare-pareho kasi kami malakas mang-api, hahaha!!! Pero we keep everything to ourselves. It is just a way for us to enjoy the fact that we are together…

Time flies, the girls who used to wear UPIS uniform in blue skirt, white blouse (with blue buttons) na mukhang saleslady sa SM, Gregg black shoes, Giordano or St. Michael’s socks, Tretorn rubber shoes and Swatch Watch, are all mature women already.

Katherine Marie alias Pebbles still has the ballerina figure. She’s still conscious about her weight. Yes, she has accomplished her dream of becoming a lawyer (pero according to her, she’s overworked and underpaid.)She is a certified single (as of today, 12 September 2007) but a certified madly-in-love woman, too - - don’t deny it girl!

Pebs (as what we call her) has mellowed a lot (when I say, a lot, it really is, a lot!!!) Before, her every word has “putang ina!” - - now, I hardly hear her say that. She is no longer the very intimidating Pebbles that we used to know - - total transformation, ika nga nila! I guess, this is what maturity and being in-love are all about!

Ma. Natalie or Nats / Talie to her friends is no longer the very sensitive young lady that she used to be. Before, you had to think and be conscious about what you were going to tell her or else….. But not anymore - - Martin, Nat’s husband must have done wonders.

Among all my friends, Natalie and I have known each other the longest (we have been friends since grade 3, almost ¾ of our lives). And perhaps this is why I know Natalie very well. We used to be like cats and dogs; I have always been her “favorite” katampuhan but her attitude towards me has made our friendship unique and strong.

Natalie is now based in Nestle Australia (Sydney) because she married a Filipino-Australian (not only blue eyed but also very patient! – this is what being lucky is all about, diba Nats?!)

This woman is treating Sydney-Manila as if she’s only traveling from Quezon City to Makati, literally. Just recently, she was home for 3 days to satisfy her cravings for Filipino food as she is on the 14th week of her pregnancy.

Carla Joy or simply Carla/Carls is the first one to become mommy in our group. At 31, she is a mommy to almost 12 year old Pau. Oh yes, Carla used to be the darling of many UPIS boys, Apolonio tops the list!)

She used to practice being a Psychologist but later decided to enroll in a nursing school. She is back to being a student while also focusing on her role as a full-time Mama to her very charming daughter, Paula Joy.

My recent trips to Iloilo paved the way for Carla and me to renew our closeness. This woman is still “makamandag” as ever - - hindi halata na dati syang may asawa kaya men would still run after her. I’m sure if Apolonio sees her again, the poor guy will hide again behind the door.

Being a single mom is her choice because it gives her more and lasting peace, happiness and contentment. I just hope that one day soon, Carla will be able to meet someone whom she truly deserves (of course, somebody who will love Pau as his own)

Joanndee alias Joe is the most mature among all of us. In high school, she had the biggest boobs (pero hindi na lumaki! J)She was the first one who had a boy friend, that was why we thought she was going to get married first among all of us kasi mabubuntis siya ng maaga. But I guess, we spoke too soon, kasi at 31 she is NOT yet a mother and can still qualify as single - - at alam na nya kung bakit… hahaha!!!

Joe has always been cool, sometimes her ideas are just so weird (kagaya ng naging hash hash decision nya na hindi naman kami nagkulang sa pag advise, diba?) kaya umuulan ng “ano ba yan Joe, tanga-tanga talaga! “ Pero in fairness, ang reaction lang nya ay - -J smile!!! Parang nasa cloud 9 parati, hindi tuloy naming alam kung nagsi-sink-in or what…. Hey girl, wake-up!

In our group, she’s the professional call center woman - - pero hindi siya undergrad ha or hindi sya makakuha ng ibang work, pero dahil andito ang puso nya… Silent lang ang bruha na ito pero she’s earning a lot - - pautang nga!

Joe, haaay naku, tama na ang STUPIDITY ha…. Suportado ko whatever will make you happy pero please be sure na walang “bata” ang maapektuhan sa katangahan mo, okay?!!

Meredith Lee or simply Meryl is an English-speaking woman when she’s with her other friends. Many people misunderstand her ways, pero the people who know her well enough can say that she is a very simple and very friendly woman who wants nothing but to be happy and to give happiness to others.

Among all of us, Meryl is the most friendly. She can be with any kind of group and she manages to fit in each group without the feeling of being an outcast. Meryl can be sosy if she wishes to, but she can be so simple when the occasion calls for it.

Being in-love is Meryl’s favorite past time. She has to go all the way to Texas to find the real meaning of happiness and I’m glad to know that it’s already beyond her reach.

Meryl’s passion for kids and her search for real happiness are the reasons why she is away from her parents in Manila. She is having the best time of her life being a Kindergarten/ Preschool teacher and living her life to the fullest most especially these days when she’s a certified engaged woman.


Laya Maria Isabela or just Laya is somebody whom I see on a weekly basis. Her being a single-mama to 2 year old Bien Miguel doesn’t prevent us from spending time together. Pero since she is in-love again may kahati na ako sa oras niya!!! Pero what can I do?! I know naman that there are so many things that I can’t give her eh, for obvious reasons, hahaha…

In high school, Laya looked like a geek (as in NERD!), ang laki kasi ng eyeglasses eh. At ang mga trip nya ay parang kakaiba for a regular teen-ager: studying the piano on a weekly basis and she does make sure that she meets up with her Math tutor on time. No one ever thought that this “Manang” looking teen in high school will find a “sperm donor” before marriage, hahahaha…. Pero as they say, looks can be deceiving. Imagine, nauna na nga magka baby sa akin eh nauna pa magka boylette again, whewwww…… Life is so unpredictable talaga….

One thing about Laya that hasn’t changed is the fact that she’s still “deadma” as ever. I really admire her kasi parang walang stressful moments eh, parang always “whatever” ang approach niya in life. Sometimes I’m wondering if this woman has tear ducts, kasi I don’t remember any instance that I saw her shed a tear… Pero you should listen to her remarks - - they make sense!

I guess if there is one person who always tries to understand my moods - - Laya is the name. She has been a witness to what I’ve been through (both happy and depressing.) I know there are moments when she’s having a hard time grasping my thoughts and the things that are happening to me but still she’s always beside me (kahit na minsan inaaway ko na yan!)She has accepted the fact that “sira talaga ang ulo ko! “ Pero, andyan pa rin siya sa tabi ko, no matter what (eh paano parati shopping sa room ko kaya nagtitiis nalang…. J) She’s being paid for being patient with me, hahaha ...

Maria Kristina, ohhhh, that’s me! But my friends call me Tin! I want to believe that my high school ways have changed for the better (dapat lang naman!) There are times though that I am still childlike (eh kasi naman bunso eh!) Pero I have matured in a lot of ways. I guess my experiences after we graduated from high school taught me a lot about the LIFE.

I am still the hopeless romantic Tin who loves to be in-love all the time. Yes, I’ve been In-love. I’ve been hurt and experienced a lot of pain (both physical and emotional) but I am proud that I have survived the challenges and trials of life…

When we were still in high school, I told myself that I should be married at 27. I am turning 31 in 2008 and here I am still single and unattached - - yes, by choice!

Though I am afflicted with a very rare disease known as Multiple Sclerosis, that has paved the way for me to realize how blessed I am. I used to be a negative thinker kaya I called myself “ NEGAstar”. But MS has taught me to see life in a much different perspective. Now I am slowly learning to see the positive behind the negative that are happening in my life.

One of these days, if it is God’s will I am still looking forward to be with somebody special again. But I’m not in a rush as I am focusing on other things which I think are more valuable as I continue to live life to the fullest – having a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God. No, I have not changed my religion and I have no intentions of doing so. I guess I am just learning to find the real meaning of happiness and it is something that you can find not because of somebody or what you own or possess, but it is something you find deep within your system.

I must admit though that there are days that my “insanity” prevails but at the end of the day what is important is - - your desire to be able to make a difference in the lives of people. And I believe that’s the reason why I am enjoying my life’s journey.

Wait! Wait! Ohhh, I remember the other member of our barkada - - her name is Simonette!


We may not see nor communicate with each other as often as we wish to but at the end of the day, we are aware that we are FRIENDS! We will never be alone in times of loneliness and there will always be people who will be celebrating with us in times of gladness - - because we’re the AVZIGANZ!

Be a Gracious Giver....

Despite the fact that I am afflicted with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), I can still call myself…. BLESSED! In my previous on-line blogs, I mentioned that MS has opened the doors for so many blessings to come in. I gained new friends who have all become good friends of the family. I am able to help other people (some of them people that I haven’t met at all, or can be considered as strangers). Word of mouth from acquaintances and friends that I am a loyal friend of PGH paved the way for me to refer people who are in need of quality medical care at low cost.


People see me as a generous person. Sometimes people say, I am “overly” generous to a fault - - hahaha, there is such a thing, ‘coz everything in excess is not healthy anymore. But sharing what I have and being generous truly gives me an unexplainable satisfaction from within, it makes me at peace and contented. There may have been times that other people take advantage of my kindness but I really don’t mind, thinking that I am NOT offending GOD if there are people who take advantage of me.


A Psychiatrist informed me that being a giver or generosity is NOT an inherited trait. Yet it is something that is innate. I believe kindness is NOT something that you acquire overnight but something you learn from people who are influential to you most especially during your formative years. It is not something surprising if people see me as “kind” and “generous” because I learned those positive traits from my parents. Both of them are truly givers (yes, sometimes to a fault, too) My dad doesn’t mind giving his final centavo to somebody in need. He would think of ways to help them. Where can you see a house that has an on-going renovation for 365 days just to give people work? My mom sacrificed being alone and away from home for 20 years just to give her family a life that is far more than just comfortable….

It is too unfortunate for me and my siblings that we weren’t able to meet the woman who must have influenced dad on being kind and generous - - Lola Piting. My mom said that Lola Piting was such a gracious giver. Even though she was in deep pain on her deathbed brought by cancer of the breast, Lola Piting thought nothing of pawning her jewelry just to be able to give something to a friend / relative in dire need.

I admit, I love to go shopping. But my sister can attest that I have been healed of my shopping addiction (I don’t buy 1 particular thing in different colors anymore.) If I have money, I spend. If I don’t have money, I stay at home and sleep. Some people think that I spend a lot on shopping -- yes I do! But I don’t spend everything for myself because I buy things for everyone I care for - - my family (most especially my nephews and nieces), for my friends and for people who are in need (yes, including our drivers and our yayas at home.) I don’t borrow or ask money from other people just to go shopping -- I have money given to me by my parents (most of them coming from Mom’s international “rakets”), my siblings and their spouses, relatives who know that shopping is my way of relieving stress (which is bad for MS). What I am trying to say is, I don’t ask money from others, but if people give me, I welcome the idea….If there is one person whom I ask money from, it is my mom, hahaha!!!!

Of course, I love beautiful things. I love shoes. I love clothes. I love watches. I love bags. Practically, I love everything you see in the mall. But if I buy something, it is not always for me… I share them most of the time with my sister (yes, she’s older than me but she doesn’t mind receiving my hand-me-downs) and with other people.

If there are times that I don’t have money in my wallet or my credit card has reached its limit, that signals that I have to stay home. When I have nothing to spend, I still know how to find happiness and contentment inside our home.

MS has taught me to live one day at a time and to enjoy each day to the fullest. Yes, even if you have millions of money in the bank and you have the means to buy the medicine that you need but still, there is no assurance that you will be healed from your ailment - - what can your millions do?

I believe that money really makes a difference in a person’s life but the person must use it well. Yes, you may have 100 million in the bank but tomorrow you die, what happens to your 100 million? God will not ask you how much money you have in the bank or how many mansions you have. Nor would your wealth on earth serve as a guarantee that you will be living in a mansion in heaven - - no! never!

I believe that kindness begets kindness. If you share (not only to people who are close to you but also to total strangers), what you share will come back to you at least a hundred times more. Don’t be afraid to share what you have thinking that nothing will be left for you, because God never makes the hand of a sincere giver empty - - God will always provide! God will always reciprocate the kindness that you have given to others most especially if what you share is hard-earned.

Yes, God wants us to enjoy life to the fullest. And MS has taught me that the best way for me to live my life is to make a difference in the lives of others. If there are people who would take advantage of my kindness, it is not stupidity or my fault because God knows that I just wanted to help sincerely. It is not my problem anymore if the devil dwells in other peoples’ beings. Nobody on earth is aware of a person’s real motive to others but we just have to believe that though our naked eyes can’t see, there is a God who sees everything that happens around us.

For me, there is no such thing as being “overly “generous because it is always better to be a giver and to share what you have with your family, friends, and strangers, rather than be thrifty (or perhaps, give to institutions you belong to out of obligation rather than sincerity.)

It is a lot better for me to have only 1000.00 Pesos savings as long as I have enjoyed life by sharing the 999.9 million Pesos that I have with others.

God Provides… Always!

God blesses the sincere giver!!!

I shouldn't...

I am a hopeless romantic person. I love to be in-love. I guess if there is one thing that I’ve been dreaming of, it is to be a bride. Well, who wouldn’t? I like the feeling of being a princess - - walking in a white-long gown with little pastel flowers embedded on it as my prince awaits for me down the aisle.

I must admit though that I never thought of the life after the wedding day or the real meaning of the sacrament of marriage (whewwww, it’s FOREVER!)

After a relationship that lasted for 5 ½ years ended, I asked myself, “am I really ready to be a wife? Am I really ready to talk about forever?!” Gosh, as I was trying to contemplate, goose-bumps started to occupy my entire body - - I started to feel scared. Many “what-ifs” started to run through my mind and I told myself “thank God, I’m not!”

Yes, I’ve been hurt. It took me so long before I was able to recover from the pain that was brought by a failed relationship. But I have not become a man-hater, why would I? But as I look back, I realized that I am not ready yet to enter a commitment that talks of FOREVER!!!!

No REGRETS about the past relationship that failed. I had a wonderful relationship with my “former,” but I guess there was an ingredient missing in our relationship - - friendship!

We weren’t friends before we met. We fall in-love on the first day. We became so preoccupied thinking of how to make our relationship work and at the same time, knowing each other as friends.

It was tough. I realized it is not easy to be lovers THEN friends. There I realized it is a lot better to be friends first and just allow fate to take its course.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangled intimacy of their sexuality.

As friends, you can laugh together. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

I’ve realized that I need a partner with whom I can grow. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate but also become one.

Now I realized that I should NOT fear marriage, just as I should NOT rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

So, if someone believes in his/her heart that s/he has found someone with whom s/he is able to grow, if s/he has sufficient faith that can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if s/he has the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom - - easily!

Stop Worrying!!!

Yes, I am a born worrier!

I worry a lot - - even the most trivial thing!!!

There are always so many things to worry about. But is it really necessary at all?

We worry about things that have already happened. Since we are powerless to change the past, why bother worrying about it?

We worry about the future. Yes, planning for the future is important. But overdoing it serves no productive purpose. Isn't there a saying which suggests that tomorrow will take care of itself? Besides, the future is unpredictable and anyone's life can take a turn for the better or for worse very suddenly - what's the point of worrying about it then?

Basically, the things we worry about can be split into two broad categories - - things which we can change and matters which are out of our hands. For the latter, there is no point worrying. As for the former, well, go do something about it, rather than sitting around moping and worrying!

Worrying is a negative mechanism which has adverse effects on both our physical and mental health. Furthermore, it uses up much time and energy. It's time to cut down on this indulgence!

So, STOP WORRYING - - GOD IS IN CONTROL! TRUST HIM!!!

Scared of Pain...

At age 30, I've been through a lot already - - physical pain brought by an ailment that has no cure; emotional pain brought by failed expectations - - say it, I've experienced them all... I know that life will never be perfect and as I continue to embrace life, I will be experiencing more. But I'm not sure if the trials that I've been through made me a stronger person by now. If there is one thing that I am sure of though, the challenges that I've experienced made me a better person... But I know that "better" is far different from "stronger" - - I guess, if there is one thing that I am not sure of, it's my readiness to face the frustations of life without feeling fully affected by it....

Honestly, I'm still scared of pain - - most especially the kind of pain that roots from the emotions. Until now, my biggest fear is to "land" at Dr. Ignacio's clinic again... Because of this, any slight change in my emotions, I become so paranoid.

Every other month, it's a personal decision to visit Dr. Ignacio - - to make sure that I am really okay. I don't want to experience what I went through almost two years ago - - that's my BIGGEST fear!!! Heaven forbid!!!

I am very scared of frustration. I can't take NO for an answer!!! And because of this, I have developed this attitude of taking 1 step backward than taking few steps forward... If I'm "falling" for someone and NOT sure if he can reciprocate how I feel - - I'd prefer to stay away from the person rather than landing in the "frustration and depression trap".

I know it's being selfish but if there is one thing I've learned from my Kuya Noy, it's this: "kung ayaw mo ako, ayaw kita - - double!"
Pero it doesn't mean that I don't know how to LOVE (or I'm scared to Love!) because I'm not. If I have a choice, I love being in-love and I am not scared to give myself to someone...

I believe that I need somebody special to share my blessings, joys and life with. But after a failed relationship, I became more careful, less trusting, and more demanding, less willing to compromise - - hoping that I don't get hurt again. This doesn't mean that I have shut myself out of any and all intimate relationships...

I am still making "kulit" God to give me na Mr. Someone who can help me overcome my fear of emotional pain....

May God Help Me!!!

3rd Decade of Existence...

3rd decade of existence...

I will be celebrating my 3rd decade of existence on earth in a few days - - yes, I am proud to be 30 years old!

My life is far from being perfect - - I had my own fair share of joys and trials ; laughter and tears ; being strong yet so weak... Yes, I am a normal person who has been through a lot. But I am proud to have a very meaningful life. I want to believe that everything that I've experienced for the past 29 years molded me to become a better and stronger person.

My family and friends have been with me through sadness and happiness; during the most trying moments of my life most especially during bouts of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) attacks - - prayers and sincere frienships have been my motivation to keep going.

Of course, I know that I can't have everything in life - - something is still missing in my life (but it is something that God is in full control!)
I am very fortunate for having my family, relatives and friends - - who have been with me - - they are truly my life's assets that no amount of money can ever buy.
As I continue to count my blessings, I am glad that I was able to share it with someone who inspired me to be the best person I should be (not for him nor for other people) but for my own self.

But I am so sorry that I failed him and hurt him by being so insensitive, tackles and sometimes insecure (yes, I am!) As I continue to live life, all the values that "Mr. Someone" shared with me will be my guide as I walk through life's path.
To you, thank you so much for everything...

To my family, relatives and friends, thank you for allowing me to share my life with all of you... The pleasure is mine!

To the people who have "hurt" me, (intentionally or not) - - I am sorry if I also caused you pain or hurt you, too. I may have harmed or wounded your spirit but rest assured that it's never intentional.

I will not tell you that I am going to block you out of my life forever - - because I know the time will come that there are things that only you can do it for me. But in the meantime that I am not yet ready to have a normal relationship with you - - please understand that there are wounds that takes a lot longer to heal... but in-time everything will be okay again!